New Beginnings

This past week has just been an emotional week.
My children have all graduated into new school, that is a huge milestone for me and them. My sweet baby boy is heading into kindergarten, into the world of unknown where he will learn rules, guidelines and make new friends. Mommy will not be able to just not take him that day and go to the park instead as we tend to do now .
My little girl will be entering the halls of middle school. This also opens up new doors for her as she is still so very young and naive and it breaks my heart to know that is about to change.

My oldest is entering the world of adulthood. High school is a huge step that no one can be truly prepared for, its different than any other school year. I know she will learn heart break, jealousy, pettiness and will be miserable at times but I also know these will be the best four years of her life.

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I have always been a very closed off , private person and I don't let many people get very close to me. I have never really felt loved as a child or as an adult so these past few weeks when my friends, my mom and my husband made me sit down and listen or read how they felt about me, it made me cry but only in a good way.
I have only once in 30 years had a "girlfriend" that I loved as much as I could. I let her in , I opened up about everything and I gave her everything I had. She broke my heart.
Once again I did not trust or let people into my personal space.It has been 2 year since that friendship ended. It took me most of this time to let it go and move on. A few weeks ago , I had a talk with some amazing friends who had given me time and space to move on, but yet they stayed my constant (LOST reference) They stayed with me through it all and I even treated some of them poorly because I was so hurt, I blamed them.
I now see that I should have let go a long time ago and concentrated on the ones who matter, the ones who truly do love and care for me and waited patiently for me to see it. To you, my amazing circle of friends, I LOVE YOU ALL and am so grateful for your love in return. I can not imagine life without each and every one of you and I am so Sorry for pushing you away all this time.
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To my husband: You are more wonderful than words can express. You saved me.
I was spiraling into this negative , bitter unloved person and you saved me. I have never felt as truly loved and needed as I do with you. The harder I push you away, the more you love me . You held on until it broke through that I needed you as much as you need me. You are my everything.
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To my Mother:
Thank you for your words, they were what I needed to hear, exactly when I needed to hear it. We will work through this and become closer than we ever have . I believe in us and our family and I know it will all turn out to be beautiful if we both promise not to let go.

yet another grown up

Yesterday my middle child graduated fifth grade and today my oldest graduated eighth . I'm not sure how much more of this I can stand:(
I still remember the day I had Kailene. I was just a baby myself , yet so amazed at this little child , this human life that I was now responsible for.
My father told me not to blink as she would be grown before I knew it, but I thought to myself, what does he know? I was so young I was convinced she would never grow up and that I would always be a 15 year old teen mom.
Well here it is, almost 15 years later and now she is the teen (not a mom though!)
and heading into the next step of her journey into adulthood, she is now a high schooler...........insane.


Kailene in kindergarten

Growing up

My little girl graduated fifth grade today. It seems just a few months ago that Chelsea was this extra wild tomboy, now it seems as if she is a little lady. She fussed over her hair and clothes all morning, I can't believe it...such a sad yet joyous day.

Garden of the Gods

Garden of the Gods was beautiful today!
We did got a "warning" from a park ranger as we had water bottles with us and apparently you are not allowed to bring them in. He said next time it would be 175 dollar ticket per plastic container!
We have yet to go on a family outing without getting some kind of ticket....last two trips resulted in speeding tickets (less than 10 miles over)
There is an amazing rock formation shaped like a camel out there.


On the way home the kids entertained themselves by wearing goofy glasses and staring out the window at passing cars trying to get other people to wave or smile

too much, too soon?

I am just on a role with this blogging stuff, though I think once the newness wears off, I'll be a slacker.
My husband is at work and the girls are off at school. Bryce and I once again have the day to ourselves. So far today I have watched the movie Bolt twice, and watched him play in the pool again. These lazy summer days are already starting to be a bit repetitive. Im sure once my girls get out of school next week we will line up more activities. We did buy a pass to the local zoo, so Im sure that will come in handy at times.I do have to work tonight, so at least I'm forced to get up and get dressed. With the kids almost out of school, I have switched my schedule to only working a few hours at night. I will not actually lose any money doing this since I should be able to make commission quite easily working nights.
Hard at work cutting my sons hair (this was before I cut off ten inches of my own hair that I am now desperately trying to grow back out)I'm sure I will be way too exhausted to write more when I get home tonight so this is probably my brief blogging moment today.
Tomorrow we are taking the kids to the Garden of the Gods , so Im sure I'll have plenty tomorrow evening.

Jumping right in

I jumped right in to the world of blogging without really introducing myself or my family so I decided to backtrack for just one moment/.
This is me.....Im sarcastic, quiet, shy and loud all at the same time. I am a computer addict and love learning new stuff every day. I have a passion for photography, reading and my children.I work part time as a hairstylist and have been doing that for almost 8 years. I love what I do but I don't feel it is my true calling......
ME

MY HUSBAND:
This is my husband John. We got married in Sept '08 and he is a wonderful stepfather to my children and an amazing husband and friend to myself.
We met in high school at the young , naive age of 16 (me) 14 (him) We both crushed on each other for quite a while before a move was made and we ended up dating. He claims I was his first love and am considered the one who got away.
We went our separate ways after dating a few months in school only to meet back up in '07 and instantly fall in love all over again.








I had my first child at the extremely young age of 15, yes I was a teenage mother....I don't feel that her or I missed out on anything because of it though. I have always been an extreme homebody so having a child , even in my teen years, was not something that held me back. I still finished high school, went to college and Kailene has turned into an amazing young woman.She is now almost 15, she has always been honor roll at school, she is well mannered, soft spoken and all around lovable. Don't get me wrong, she is a typical demanding teenager , but she has a great head on her shoulders and knows what it takes to get where ever she decides to go.
She is absolutely beautiful and (most of the time) a pleasure to be around,lol


My middle child is Chelsea, she is now 11.A very curious child, she wants to know the why's and how's of everything that crosses her path. She is amazingly stubborn yet sweet and sensitive. She was diagnosed with full blown ADHD at the age of 4 and even though I fought it, we have now come to realize that she obviously does have it and does need help for it. She was put on medicine to help control it at the age of 7 and has been doing very well. She still has the same ol' fiery Chelsea spirit but it helps her calm down enough to focus on the task at hand.She is a outgoing, wild, rebellious yet loving, tender, and someone who cares about everyone she meets.
She loves to read anything she can get her hands on and enjoys playing on the computer or just listening to music.



My youngest is Bryce. He is 5 years old, my last one and my only boy. He is quiet, shy, sensitive and a complete mommas boy and I would not have it any other way. I was terrified when I first found out I was having a boy. After several years of trying for him, I was so sure I would get another girl that it did not even enter my mind that I would have a boy. I am so thankful that I was completely wrong. There is something special about a boy, I now see why it's always said that a girl is her daddy's girl but a boy is his mommas baby.We read the book, I'll love you forever (I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be) and in that story, the mom sings that line to her son every night of his life until she is too old and not able to. That will be us...........
He never goes more than 5 minutes without telling me how much he loves me (all the way to the planets and back he says) He loves to hug and kiss and is not reserved at all on showing affection.

Lazy summer days

Today I had the day off from work and no plans at all except to enjoy some alone time with my baby boy. My youngest son just turned 5 a few weeks ago and will be starting kindergarten this fall and it is breaking my heart. I have two older children ages 14 and 11 , so I know all too well how fast they grow.

After we saw the 11 year old off to school, we started out the day by curling up in bed and watching Bolt for the 5th time in two days. He loves that movie!
Then computer time for both of us. He loves to play on club penguin and I am of course a facebook junkie.
After we got caught up on our games, he decided it was a good time for lunch and time to play in his little pool.





He had a wonderful time though I felt it was a bit chilly......Next thing I know, it is time for his sisters to be home from school . So off we go to wait for sissies with our menagerie of animals:)
Sissies

My baby chloe, Bella in the background

and our newest member coffee


Now time to figure out supper and get Chelsea over to the skating rink for her party. My daughter was one of the highest achievers in reading for her school and gets to attend a skate party tonight.
Hopefully more (interesting) blog time to follow.